The last few weeks have been tough. I am not going to go into details, but it hasn't been pretty. So as I was wallowing in my pessimism, it hit me, nothing was getting better because I had not made a space for it. I have never seen myself as a negative person I am usually pretty upbeat. It hit me, the other day I had a phone call from Geoff and my Mom and I heard myself clearly for the first time. They both asked how my day had been and I went off on how bad everything was. I had become "that person", you know, the one that you put off calling because you feel the dark cloud over your head the whole time your talking to them. Geoff used to call whenever he had a minute and I realized that he rarely called during the day.
How was my life going to get any better if I kept myself stuck in such a negative pattern? I felt trapped in a vicious circle. The more I focused on all the bad things, the more depressed I became. The more depressed I became, the more I focused on what was all wrong in my life.
When I realized that I am the only one that can change my perspective, I turned to Gratitude. This is the best way I know to change behaviors. When I am focusing on the things that I am grateful for, they only multiply and increase leaving no room for the negative.
This is a lesson that I have had to learn many times in my life and I am sure this will not be the last. I am amazed how easy it is to fall into negative patterns and I am equally amazed at the opportunity for personal growth when I come out of it!
So the reason for this post is to share what I am thankful for today. I am thankful for sounds...or the lack thereof. This morning I listened to beautiful church hymns while listening to Aria play "mommy" to her babies. One of my favorite sounds in the world is Laila "talking". She has so much to say and loves to coo. Because I decided that today I am thankful for sounds I really started listening and I never realized that Aria has the most wonderful pitch to her voice, it is the sweetest high pitched melody. I am grateful for the sound of Geoff's voice at the end of the day, his sound is a solid foundation that grounds and stabilizes me.
At this moment, as I write this post, I am thankful for the lack of sound. The girls are in bed the house is picked up and I am feeling overwhelmed at what a wonderful day it has been. I thankful for all the bad things so that the good things are even that much better!
16 comments:
What a great post. So inspired and thoughtful. I need to learn this lesson right now! I think I should tell you that I have appreciated the conversations we have had because it has helped me realize that none of us are alone in this, right? So anytime you need to vent(because at some point we all do), I'm here for you! Thanks again for the thoughts!!
How absolutely beautiful! Thanks to you I am going to pay more attention to sounds and silence today and eat them up with gratitude. Loves, loves, loves!
I've been reading your blog for while, hope you don't mind if I comment. :) this post was so encouraging to me, I could have written the second paragraph myself. thank you for such inspiration.
Thanks for that post, Aleena. I needed that. It is amazing how quickly we can turn into a negative cycle but also such a blessing at how quickly (one we start focusing on the positive and gratitude) we can turn the cycle into the positive side of things. Kind of like the primary song, "If you chance to meet a frown"!! You are great. I appreciate the reminder.
Aleena,
I came across your blog when I saw that Sarah and Bryce started one. I just started mine like a week ago and I've been obsessed! I'm such a dork, but it's fun to read them and see pictures, esp. during slow times at work:). Your girls are beautiful! I'll have to tell Dr. Hill that I've been looking at pictures of his grandbabies when he comes to round. He's great. Hope life's good. I'm jealous of your warm weather living.
-Adrienne White
Aleena, you are wonderful! We all need to take the time to listen. Our children really are beautiful, even when they won't shut up! Your girls are darling and you just realized what we have always known...I love her voice! I hope the days to come are as happy and peaceful for you as today has been. Call if you need to chat - sometimes having someone to tell you to quit being negative is what you need to hear! Thanks for making me think. You are amazing!
I too have been wallowing in negativity lately. What a great idea!
I'm sorry that life got the best of you for a second. If it helps at all, I think you are one of the most positive people I know. Of course, that's evident by this post.
You are not "that person". You are one of the most up-beat and positive people I know. You just had a "moment". You can always change a moment. I seriously miss you and wish you still lived here. i am glad that your moment didn't last too long. Love--lez
I think it's so easy to get caught up in all the things that are wrong! thanks for the reminder to be thankful for what we have! you are amazing.
it's nice to know that even someone like you-so happy, upbeat, optimistic, cheerful, and charismatic have days like that. We all need a good reminder to sit down and see what the Lord has done for us. I love you Aleena, I know I don't ever see you or we don't ever talk, but I love being in touch with you through blogs and I have always loved your smile and how you can always pick someone up from a gloomy day. You have a very contagious sweet spirit about you. :)
Thanks for the positive blog. It is true. Life is hard, and we just have to decide if we are going to be happy about that or not. Thanks for reminding me to be happy.
I'm proud of you for noticing so quickly. You really are not a pessimist but it's so easy to quickly become one huh? I catch myself constantly! I've hear of the book called The Secret & we are going to be learning about it tomorrow at work. I think it has something to do with what you said.
This should make you and Geoff extremely happy. Your closest friends are Jared and Heather Morris. A day doesn't go by that I don't think about how lucky I am to have such great friends and family. Aleena you are one of the greatest people I know. Hold your head up high.
--Jared--
Aleena-You are such a good example to me!! Grattitude really does make a difference though, doesn't it?! YOu are awesome-
My friend gave me a little gratitude book that I'm supposed to write in everyday and say what I was grateful for that day. I think it is a great thing to do because it makes you realize all the blessings that you've been given. Oh and I don't think I got back to you about your friend. You can give him my number or email or whatever.
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